Some travel guidelines...

As someone who does not get into the Capital often it always amazes me when I do go there. I was down there this weekend on a job and had to travel from Kings Cross to Waterloo. This involved a couple of changes on the Underground to get me to where I needed to go, my timings dictated that it would be at the start of the rush hour that I would make my journey.

Maybe its because I do not go there often that I don't get numbed to the requirements of tube travel in London.

For those planning a trip there here are some guidelines to make you travel like a local:

1: Show no expression at any time.

2: Keep your gaze constantly averted to the floor.

3: Never hold any eye contact for more than 2 seconds.

4: Never attempt to engage in conversation with anyone.

5: Expect either an abrupt, dismissive answer or a flustered "I don't know!" answer if you do.

6: Make sure that as you approach an esculator anyone infringing on your chosen route is pushed out of the way.

7: Dont think about stopping to allow someone to go in front of you out of politness, someone else will barge through taking the opportunity.

8: Always wear headphones for your ipod or mp3 to ensure everyone can see you do not want to be engaged with in any way.

9: Display no manners or common courtesy to the elderley, women, homeless people, foreign travellers or pretty much anyone else really.

Follow these few simple rules and you to will be travelling on the London Underground like a true local.

Welcome to our Nations capital - Enjoy your visit!